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Very soon, we are about to become witnesses of one unusual for our country
phenomenon. Open lesbian couples with children. Children from previous
heterosexual marriages, children born out of the wedlock…or by
artificial insemination. It is often argued whether lesbians are capable of
rearing and educating a child in a normal environment. All of us have heard horrible statements which were, by the way, made by heterosexual men,
arguing that these children were ‘justifiably’ mocked at by their class
mates for having lesbian mother. Or they argue that these children are
defied because growing in a homosexual environment will make them homosexual. There are also statements that such children grow up lonely,
depressed, and having no normal childhood. That they will be rejected by
other kids which would not want to play with her or him. How the child
should have a father and will be ashamed to call one of the woman ‘daddy’.
As a whole, endless, terrifying all future mothers stupidities… based
only on how other children with treat the kid of a lesbian mother who
lives with another lesbian.
The same fears have been ingrained in my own self, and they surface when I
start thinking of my future motherhood. Actually, the truth is different…
the kid receives one unique advantage and most of her or his playmates
find it really cool that she or he has two mothers. Some parents engrain
in their children the opinion that this is something very wrong and their
kids should not contact such children. This, on the other hand, makes the
unwanted by the parents friendship more desired by the children. Not to
speak that the child will find this fact really funny. I definitely think
that all lesbians should stop yielding to their fears and make steps
toward becoming mothers, if they are ready for that. And relax- the maternal instinct is real and as alive in us as in the heterosexual women.
We are as capable of raising our children with care and tenderness as
every other woman, and the children of 200 000 (two hundred thousand)
heterosexual women grow up without a father in their home and are rarely
sorry for that. Don`t be quick in trusting the wide spread thinking that if you are a
lesbian you probably won` t have children. Many lesbians do have children,
and you can also have. Despite of the existing social prejudice toward the
abilities of lesbian mothers, more and more of us become mothers using one
method or another, and our sexual preferences do not influence our qualities as parents or our maternal instincts. There are several options
to become a mother… you can become pregnant by having sex with a man or
try artificial insemination. I hope that we will be able to adopt children
soon… and recently, scientists have discovered haploidization, a method
that will become widely available soon… The prejudices that you`ll hear all the time are something that is not
worth your attention. Since several European countries legalized same sex
marriages/ unions and adoptions, many lesbian families took the responsibility of being parents. There is enough research on lesbian
families and the results are all positive. Our children are as smart,
capable, sociable, enterprising, and vivid as the children of heterosexual
couples. The percentage of the children who become homosexual does not
differ from the percentage of children growing up in heterosexual environment. These children are as psychologically stable and healthy as
other children. Actually, it is unbelievably stupid to think that the life
and development of the child depends on the heterosexuality of the parents. What matters are the attitude, care, love, and family atmosphere
in which the child grows. My advice is not to spend energy, trying to
convince the others that you are a normal family and that your child grows
in a normal environment. Spend your energy on educating your child, helping her or him grow as an individual and a good person…
Read our stand on lesbian adoption of children:
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