Social environment influences your approach. Different women start flirting in different ways. On the one end of the continuum are the lesbians who have never tried to make sex with men. On the other end are those who have tried sex with a woman but don’t think about changing their sexuality. In the middle, there are many women who feel comfortable with both sexes - the so called bisexual. There are women who insist on their heterosexuality, but they are not a topic of discussion here. You have to first decide which suits you best, but always leave yourself an option for a change.
And so… you have realized that one specific woman who you know turns you on. You have thought of yourself as heterosexual up to now. And may be you are content with your relationships with men, but sex with a woman is something you want to try. Or may be you are somewhere in between these guesses. Many women have had their first lesbian sexual experience when they have been both attracted to a certain man and have decided to try a threesome. So, let us think for a moment that you have decided who would be the happy one, and you are heterosexual. How would you act so that you have her in your bed? Although in principle women act slowly in comparison to men, flirting with women does not differ a lot from flirting with men. It is important to bear in mind several social factors. In other words, if you flirt with her, she might not realize that you actually want to be intimate with her, or she may react so strongly, she can run away from you and never talk to you again. This happens often, and many lesbians have been hurt this way. In a situation in which such reaction is possible, it is better to turn the conversation toward lesbian love. The talk should be, in all cases, only between you and her. Watch her attitude and reactions before you rush into the main topic of the conversation - your attraction to her. If she demonstrates willingness to sleep with another woman, then you may try to express your feelings verbally. Or you can demonstrate them physically, but I would advise you to do that very slowly, carefully, and in stages. Now, let us assume that you know her as a lesbian, and she knows you as heterosexual. She might distance herself because she thinks that you are heterosexual and she does not want to be hurt by a relationship with a woman who’d run after the first guy after her curiosity is fulfilled (this is an often occurring scenario, and one with which many lesbians don’t want to deal). In this situation, it is best to be maximally honest with her, so that she can understand the reasons which make you do that.

Seduction:

The widespread idea of lesbians as big muscular butches who cannot find a man is very far from the truth. Women who love women come in any kind of size and appearance; the tender, feminine, thin girl who stands across you in the bus may be looking at you because she finds you attractive. Contrary to the stereotypical thinking, the tendency for lesbians is not to seduce in aggressive manner. There are much more suitable ways to find out what is your attitude toward their intentions then to grab you aggressively. Every rule has an exceptions, but in general, you will find out that you have to also take the initiative when you are seducing a woman, which is different form seducing a man. Women are not that much the initiative type in this relation, they are used to dress up attractively, put a make- up, and wait for the man to do the rest. So, if two women just wait for each other to make the first step, then nothing will happen. If you are used to the treatment of men who have to do a lot to be with you, you don’t have to use such boring tricks with the lesbian. She might decide that your behavior is heterosexual play and ridicule on your part.
Of course, a lot depends on what type of woman is she and how well you know each other. If you are friends and you’ve known for a long time that she is a lesbian, but you have not had sexual experience together, it would be good if you place the cards on the table and explain your feelings and intentions (whatever they are). Other types of behavior may confuse or embarrass her in such situation. If you accidentally meet a woman at the university library or in the store and she looks like a serious and shy girl, your approach has to be emotional rather that sexual. If she looks like the romantic type of girl who likes flowers and candle dinners, then do it. Bring her flowers, invite her to such a dinner- many women love those. And remember that women are those who are used to preparing dinners, to clean the table, and then wash the dishes. So, if they find someone who does that for them, this can make them happy for a long time. When we exclude these small advices and the weight of the anti-lesbian attitudes in society, all other rules in flirt and seduction are valid.

Love:

It is strange and thrilling to touch the body of another woman. If you have slept with a man already, you’ll find out that the woman’s body is very different as sensation and touch. Where the man’s body is hard and immobile, the woman’s one is flexible and soft. This can be very exciting for you, but also strange and unfamiliar. How to understand what to do? This depends on her desires and needs, and it is obviously very individual, but let us consider several possibilities. There are very feminine lesbians, others are more of a masculine type. Then, many lesbians do not identify with neither of these groups. According to the stereotypes, the behavior of the butch resembles that of a man and she would be sexually aggressive in bed. She would take the initiative and try to satisfy you sexually, and you’ll be passive toward her. According to my observations, the stereotype covers reality completely. Many butches feel discomfort with their gender, while the feminine lesbians feel harmony between their gender and sexual orientation. It is weird that even if a butch dies to open the door for you, she can act passively in bed. And though most of them will take up the initiative and work you out like a real man, there are some, who contrary to their man- like behavior, will lie down and wait for you to do it all. Finally, every woman is different. You’ll meet ones who will want everything happening long and slowly; others who want it quick and still others who like to use vibrator or such who don’t want any penetration; ones who never perform oral sex or ones who would do only that. Women who would want you to lie and they’ll do it all or such who would be entirely passive. Most women will be somewhere in the middles between these poles. What seems confusing is that there is not a standard technique in lesbian sex. The advantage for you is that you are a beginner and it is impossible for you to mess up. I would personally advise you to talk to your partner and discuss what you would like and what would give her pleasure. But if you’d feel too embarrassed talking about that, then look for signals, follow her body reactions. Mostly guess by the signals, what she prefers, to be the more active or the more passive side. Be patient and careful, don’t allow external factors to disturb you. The French kiss can be fantastic, even lead you to an orgasm. Make it very slow and tender. Meet her lips on the middle, don’t make it like with a man. Hold your lips soft and relaxed, don’t open your mouth too much, but don’t keep it tight even if you mouth fills with saliva, swallow it instead of drooling her up. If your mouth is dry, take a sip of water. You can use your fingers, place one in her mouth or caress her hair when you kiss her. Most women love the touch of your lips and tongue. You won’t mess up if you kiss her whole body. Take it like a detailed exploration of her body.

Touch and Sensation:

Women are less inclined than men to concentrating your attention on their intimate place. If you want to arouse a woman a lot, then you have to touch her sensually all over, and this is one of the most important skills.
     How to do it?
You have to engage all your attention with touch, to immerse yourself completely with the sensation without following any sequence and without noticing her physical peculiarities- just follow your instinct and enjoy yourself. You can practice on your body as you slowly move your finger tips through your arms. Touch the back of your arms, then the front, up and down. Then move your fingers on your shoulders, your breast and back, then the tummy around the belly-button and down the whole length of your feet. Take as much time as possible doing that and move your fingers very slowly. Then, do the same using your palms, then the back of your palms and finally your elbows. Now, go back to the part with your finger tips. Concentrate on one small part of your body and try to touch it so lightly that your fingers don’t actually touch the skin, but only the small invisible hair. Then moisten the same area, and see how the sensation changes. While exploring your body this way, watch how your skin reacts. Then, touch with some strength, feel your muscles and bones, look how your skin gets tense and moving. You can exercise these touches always, for example to touch and caress your arm when you are in a physics lesson or on the workplace, when you wait for the bus or even when you talk to someone. Then, when you are with your partner, do the same to her. When you are alone, it will be easier for you to pick up further. You can use this technique when you touch her intimate parts, but don’t be in a hurry to do it. Caress her tummy tenderly, her breasts (don’t concentrate on the nipples, touching the skin around them is much more effective at the beginning). Caress her back, her neck, shoulders, thighs, and bottom. Moisten your fingers. Don’t limit yourself to using your hands only - use your cheeks, lips, and tongue. You can also caress her with your breast, even without touching her. If you have a long hair, spread it on her. Kneel down and caress her breast with your own. Use touch to make every nerve in her body tense, make her skin burn with sensation. Touch her whole body with yours, and then leave your bodies wind into each other. Different women have different places where their body is especially sensual, and most of them know where these places are. Bus some don’t talk about it. The sex between lesbians is like a dance in which both of you have to lead and follow simultaneously. Watch all the signals of her body and if you are not sure about her attitude toward some of the touches, don’t be afraid to ask how she feels. On the other hand, she may find it embarrassing if you feel too insecure and ask all the time. So, find the balance. Breath in her ear, whisper how much pleasure she gives you what you do. Praise her.

Touch and Sensation: Breasts, Nipples, Intimate Parts:

Touch and Sensation: Breasts, Nipples, Intimate Parts Breasts is a wonderful part of the woman’s body! They come in all kinds and sizes, and are usually a great source of arousal. Pay special attention to her breast, not only to the nipples. The skin of the breast is very sensitive to caressing and you will see how her nipples grow proportionally to her arousal. The aureole- the dark circle around the nipple can be stimulated with a tongue or with the tips of the fingers, and for many women, this is much more arousing then the direct touch of the nipples. There are many different ways to caress the nipples, but this is more specific, and I would not discuss it now. The clit is this small part of erecting skin for which there is so much talk, and which man rarely find. The reason is, in my opinion, that unless a woman is aroused, the clit is hidden under a hood. So, this is how much they can arouse us. The clit can be stimulated in many different ways. It is to some extent naturally connected to the vulva – this part which is covered with hair and is the visible one of the intimate parts. This place is not very well known because in the heterosexual sex, everything is concentrated exclusively on the clit and the vagina (this is man’s mistake). It is always better not to concentrate on just one place when you make love, because this could lead to over- saturation and to bring an opposite effect to what you intended. The lesbian sex does not have any specific and mandatory beginning and end. So, don’t make the common mistake to start stimulating the clit right away. For some women, the clit is deeply hidden and hard to reach so in such cases, it is better to stimulate it indirectly (touching her whole body, her breast nipples, caressing her vulva, slightly pulling the hairs on it if she has some) until you are convinced that she is ready for the culmination. Don’t start stimulating her vagina first. Many women would think they’ll die and go to Heaven if you spend a long time exploring with lips or finger tips the wrinkles of her intimate parts. The latter are different in size, shape, and color; the labia moisten profusely when stimulated. You can use different things in addition to your hands: you can caress her with a feather, a piece of silk, or anything that your fantasy breeds. For example, slightly warm liquid dropping on the upper of the intimate parts can be very arousing. Many women consider the good vibrator their best friend. Vibrators have different shapes, sizes, functions, and ways of usage.
    Which position to place yourself in?
You can feel more comfortable if you lie opposite to her, but kneeling between her legs gives you a better access. Every position is good if you feel comfortable in it. My advice is to change the position. Don’t limit yourself, experiment bravely. The lesbian ways of making love are much different than the ones which heterosexual culture imposes. The normal rules of having sex are not suited to love between two women and we need to find out different ways of making love. Start thinking about lesbian sex as one thrilling and unbelievable experience, without rules and wrong way of doing it, the only requirement is to give each other great pleasure, you and your partner. One of the best ways to learn how to touch a woman is to practice it on yourself. If you don’t masturbate, I’ll advise you to start immediately. Exploring your own body and sensations will increase your sexual potential. When you start making love to women, you may find new possibilities in your body. And all in all, if you desire and get aroused by her body, why not get aroused by your own? Despite that the risk of sexually transmitted diseases is smaller in comparison to heterosexual intercourse, some small chances exist. You have to appraise how well you know your partner, so that you estimate the chances of getting infected from unprotected sex.

Orgasm:

Women vary in the ways of reaching an orgasm. Some don’t reach it at all, others reach it very easily. There are also different ways in which you can lead a woman to an orgasm. If your partner has an experience and knows how she gets aroused, may be she will share it with you. But you don’t have to try to lead her necessarily to an orgasm: it isn’t a problem if that doesn’t happen, and you don’t have to think that the reason is in you. Don’t forget that if the relationship is too dynamic it might fall apart. You don’t have to rush in making love in the first place. Be ready to spend at least half an hour. And if you feel that your partner is about to have an orgasm, don’t stop, continue doing the same thing, with the same pace, which has lead her to orgasm. There are orgasms which can last a minute (but most are around 10 seconds). When she calms down, pause for several seconds, and then continue. She can reach an orgasm again…and again…and again! Of course, it all depends on how endurable you are! If you feel that you get exhausted, then take a break, change the position. Don’t worry if she masturbates or caresses herself till you kiss her or touch her at other places. This is normal. And then, you can use a vibrator which is very trendy. Be sensual when she finishes as well. Hug her quietly and tenderly. If she starts crying, don’t worry, this is also normal. Many women simulate orgasm to make their partners happy. It is easy to simulate an orgasm and difficult to notice the simulation because orgasm is different for different women, and it can be even different for one single woman. If you aim at a long term relationship, don’t simulate an orgasm. There is nothing wrong or insulting if you don’t reach an orgasm, or if your partner doesn’t. But it is wrong to lie to each other. If you don’t understand that, then, you have no idea of woman’s sexuality. Orgasm is just one of the many things that you can experience with your partner.

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