Lies and stereotypes about lesbians


	Lies and stereotypes about lesbians
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All of us have listened to different explanations and suppositions who are the lesbians, why is a woman a lesbian, and what has made her such. For me personally, coming out has always provoked astounded (on the verge of rejecting my confession) responses in the other person ''I can`t believe you are a lesbian, you are so...''
You feel the dots. Let us now examine what are the main stereotypes and prejudices against lesbians:

The lesbians hate men!
This statement is not true as a whole. To be honest, there are lesbians who hate men, but those are very few in number and more of an exception to the rule. Most often, these women have been physically harmed by men in a their young age, or they are women who combine female homosexuality with radical feminism. But I would like to repeat: those are really exceptions to the rule. I know many more heterosexual women who openly express their hatred toward men, and I`ve met even more heterosexual women who don`t express this view openly but share it and speak about men in a hostile manner which does not presuppose acceptance of men in their lifes. Actually, the explanation is very simple. The heterosexual women have many additional reasons to hate men. They have been rejected, lied, disappointed, molested, as so on by men. Lesbians, on the other hand, do not have this problem because they do not interact with men on an intimate level.
Thus, lesbians enjoy the friendship, work place solidarity, and understanding of men. And they get rarely disappointed by men as relationships remain pure and lack the potential of becoming intimate.
Of course, it does not seem that way while looking from a distance. Many of us have moments, in which we need to be a part of an entirely female company and environment. Place without men, only for women, and we`ll jealously defend the right to have such moments and places. People often perceive this wish incorrectly as a hatred toward men. They call us man-haters simply because we do not allow men to circle around us twenty four seven, regardless where and with whom we are. That is, we do not allow to men to turn from friends into the constantly present shadows, and I do not think that this idea of friendship with the opposite sex constitutes hatred. We just defend our right to a personal space.

Lesbians want to be men!
That is not true! Lesbians are very happy that they are women. This stereotype is a typical example of how people mistake homosexual orientation for homosexual identification, and trans-sexuals are wrongly taken for homosexuals. Lesbians are very different from the trans-sexuals who accept themselves as men and have a male sexual identity, i.e. they are male emotionally and psychologically.

Lesbians look man-like!
Some do, others don`t. But even those women who do are not necessarily lesbians. I know many man-like looking heterosexual women as well as many delicate, feminine looking lesbians. The outlook has nothing to do with the sexual orientation. Of course, that is if we only talk about the physical appearance and not about the conscious aspirations of a woman to appear one way or another. If we gather a large group of lesbians at one place, it will be very difficult to find some common defining feature among their outlook, which can be a basis for a stereotype. The same counts for a randomly selected people from any sexual identification type - they look different.

The lesbians have not met the right guy who would change their sexual orientation!
In this line of reasoning, one could say that every heterosexual woman has just not met a real woman who would make her change her sexual orientation and turn her into a lesbian. This is not true! Or that every heterosexual man has just not been with a real man and that is why, he is not a gay. Another interesting moment is that people hold this belief only for lesbians. I`ve never seen a man who would suggest that a homosexual man had become gay because he has not met a real woman. Do you agree?
Actually, people who say that a woman had become a lesbian because she has not met a real men, always consider sex and the preference of women to touch, feel, and experience the female body, instead of the male. They take into account only the sexual necessities of men in the life of the lesbian. And they don`t even think that the emotional value and the almost spiritual connection that could exist between two women are much more important for the lesbians. The logic that one woman just needs a satisfactory intercourse with a man to become a heterosexual is stupid and ridiculous, and it presents an outrageous ignorance and lack of elementary knowledge of sexuality. Moreover, mostly men use this logic, although they realize the absurdity of similar statements. The lesbian is a lesbian because she likes women and not because she has not appreciated men or found enough deserving qualities in the men around her. Here, one can sense the infinite egotism of men and their confidence that the world revolves around the male penis. But it is necessary for men to realize that lesbian relationships have nothing to do with men and that in their space, men are not an influential factor.

Women become lesbians because they cannot find a man!
If that is so, why am I a lesbian? I have received several marriage proposals by men. Countless love confessions, and so on. But i`m not the only case. In my social circle, there are many girls, for each of whom I know several man who would do courageous deeds and miracles to deserve just one smile. And most of the lesbians I know get attention by men. Something more - I know cases in which married lesbians have discovered their attraction to women late, and they have left their husbands. Let us look from another point of view, I know many heterosexual women who have a hard time finding a parter or a husband. For different reasons. Why wouldn`t they become lesbians??? Unexplainable, isn`t it? Therefore in at least 80% of the cases, this stereotype does not respond to the real situation. Whether we succeed in attracting attention of the opposite sex does not impact on out orientation, but on our mastrubation.

Lesbians are women heartbroken by men!
As with all people, the lesbians whom I know vary in personality type. Some of them are strong, powerful women who don`t bother preserving the intactness of the male ego, and they are not inclined to flirts or airs and graces. I suspect that when men learn how to take into consideration the fact that women are human beings equal to them, there won`t be any ground for the existence of such behaviour. Then, the latter will gradually disappear together with the widespread discrimination against women we face daily. To these women is directed the most common spread and most traditionalist misunderstanding about lesbians. These women are conceived of as heartbroken- always by men, and society considers that their behaviour is dictated by some inner fears by men. And men are either scared by such women, or they feel insecure in their presence. They would rather believe that lesbians have been heartbroken by men, so they can keep their Ego intact.