What does ''lesbian'' stand for?


	What does ''lesbian'' stand for?
back main page to be a lesbian

Lesbians are women who make love with other women. We are women who feel sexual attraction to other women. We are also women who feel emotional and spiritual attraction to persons from our own sex. We are women who select women for our life partners, we fall in love with women, and we want to live our whole life with another woman.

The term ''lesbian''

One should not define the term in simple words. The definition of ''who Is a lesbian'' has been misunderstood a lot through time. Most common, the word lesbian was used to describe a woman who is sexually attracted to individuals from her own sex. Do you really need to bother with a definition of the term? No, until you decide to quit hiding your preferences and express your position boldly. Then, you will see the uproar that your openness creates around you and your self-identification. Be honest toward yourself, and if men still attract you, do not define yourself as a lesbian.
But if you use the term bi-sexual, many of your relatives and friends might not pay much attention to this self-definition, and you might not receive their support for your relationships with women. They might just think that you are going through a period which will wear away. And of course, nothing stops you from calling yourself more ''eccentric'' in your sexual preferences. On the other hand, coming out is useful as far as making contacts with other lesbians is concerned. Yet, you might become a target for the homophobes. (Homophobes are people who openly express their hatred toward homosexuals.) In this case, of great importance is your social and intellectual environment. You can become an object of ridicule, loose your job, get expelled from school, or become subjected to psychological attacks and insults. Be cautious. Under some circumstances lesbians become so careless and blinded by their love, that they forget the Big Bad World which frowns at them.
An American lesbian told me that the sweetest joke about lesbians in The US was the following:
''What does a lesbian bring on a second date?
Response: Her whole luggage.''
The women often mistakenly assume that feelings expressed on the first date are a sign of a life partnership. They instantaneously move in together only to realize soon that their characters are incompatible. Do not assume that this wonderful, exciting, and full of emotions sex necessarily means a long-term relationship. So, just accept the relation as it is- amazingly beautiful gift which could lead or not to a long and fulfilling relationship.
REMEMBER: Despite that you feel wonderful around lesbians, and this is your environment, do not forget that lesbians are people, and you will meet all kinds of personalities. So, do not over-confide when looking for compassion.

When you discover that you can fall in love with a woman, you can start feeling as a messenger of the lesbian love, but soon life might make you crush from heaven. You`ll go through turbulent emotions which you never deemed possible. It will be a catharsis which will change your world view, way of thinking, and attitude toward others to an unimaginable extent. And last but not in importance, you will find out that the people who you thought of as your best friends till now have no idea what you go through or react negatively. Don`t alienate yourself! Look for a friendship, advice, and support from women like you.

It is very important that you totally accept yourself and you like yourself the way you are. To be a lesbian does not just mean trying different sexual practices or having a psychological disorder. Read what my opinion of being a lesbian is or is not. How many of these statements relate to you?

What is to be a lesbian?
- To be a lesbian, is to be what you have been born. That's it!
- To be a lesbian is a normal human condition which cannot be changed in any way.
- To be a lesbian means to live a life in which you have the needs of every other human being.
- To be a lesbian is to be the older sister of all children.
- To be a lesbian is to belong to a category to which secretly belong many of the most beautiful women.
- To be a lesbian means to be monogamous and fateful partner of your beloved woman.
- To be a lesbian is to be emotional, loving, caring, compassionate, tender, passionate, and loyal partner.
- To be a lesbian is to be tactful, polite, and nice- a real Lady.
- To be a lesbian is to express openly your feelings and your true self instead of pretending of being someone you
are not.
- To be a lesbian is to be what God has created you.
- To be a lesbian is a bliss.
- To be a lesbian is Love!

What a lesbian isn't?
- To be lesbian is not to suffer a psychological disorder. If this was the case, many people would have use it as an excuse to skip work, for example. Such excuse would sound like ''Boss, I feel a little lesbian today, and the doctor prescribed several day`s rest in bed until this feeling fades away.'' Or ''Doc, I have a homosexuality today, and I need to be off from work and to take some medications.'' Or at least we would have read in the press ''The Institute X is trying a new medicine against female homosexuality, or ''Lesbian epidemic'', ''The school students are in lesbian vacation because of the lesbian epidemic.''
- To be a lesbian is not a choice, a style which one has decided to emulate, or a fashion that one follows. A lesbian is what I am, for reasons that I don`t know, but that`s my true self.
- To be a lesbian does not mean to publicly ask everyone join your ''Interests` club''
- To be a lesbian does not mean to be a paedophile.
- To be a lesbian does not necessarily mean to play a tomboy or to have a male behaviour. Most lesbians look
and behave as women.
- To be a lesbian does not mean to curse, drink, or fight for other women.
- To be a lesbian is not to parade with your sexuality, to provoke people, yell at them, or burst into violence.
- To be a lesbian does not mean to have an unsafe sexual Intercourse with every woman you date.
- To be a lesbian does not mean that this is your entire human and personal identity, and that you do not possess
others.
- To be a lesbian is not contagious.
- To be a lesbian is not to have sex with women, but to share your love with them.
- To be a lesbian is not to be perverse.
- To be a lesbian is not easy!

Why do we choose women?
- Because we choose Love instead of rough and quick sex.
- Because a woman will express her feelings toward me as I would like to and do.
- Because we are proud of being strong, dignified women who don`t look for support and safety in the illusory
calmness of the male world.
- Because we are ready to pay the price of Beauty which we posses in the face of our partner.
- Because no one can subjugate us, make us dependent or change us.
- Because we know where to look for beauty.
- Because we carry love in our hearts.