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The sexual orientation (feeling of sexual and emotional attraction) is
determined by the sex you belong to and are attracted sexually and emotionally. Some people believe that there are only two sexual orientations:
- heterosexual - an individual who is sexually and emotionally attracted
to people from the opposite sex, or
- homosexual - a person who is sexually and emotionally attracted to
people from the same sex
This division is not quite correct because it leaves out two major
groups:
- asexual - a person who is not attracted sexually and emotionally to
People from either sex,
and:
- bi-sexual - a person who is attracted sexually and emotionally to
people from both sexes (possibly to a different extent).
Our belonging to either of these types can change through life. Also,
there are many times when a person feels confused and cannot determine
to which type she or he belongs exactly (or the individual perceives only
the negative features of the other sexuality types). It is not as easy to
determine which feelings of ours are really authentic for us and which
have been rooted in us during the process of socialization. Despite of
all, it has been proved that the process of sexuality transformation
goes from heterosexual to one of the other types, and none of these transformations is reversible to heterosexual orientation.
The sexual orientation, no matter heterosexual, homosexual, bi-sexual,
or asexual is not something that a person chooses. According to the latest
research in this field, the sexual orientation has genetic or biological roots, and it manifests itself short after birth. As the heterosexuals, the lesbians discover their sexuality throughout the process of
growing up instead of being brainwashed by other homosexuals. Once established, the orientation cannot be
changed, although in this field, the heterosexual society does not cease to experiment. There isn`t a single known
case of an adult homosexual who has been attracted to the opposite sex. The only choice which a lesbian has is whether she will live her life
openly or she will yield to the societal pressures and try to fulfil
the unrealistic expectations of the heterosexual society by maintaining
unnatural for her heterosexual relationship. Some
questions and answers about sexual orientation: What
is sexual orientation?
Sexual orientation is one of the four components of sexuality. The term
encompasses lasting emotional, romantic, sexual, or loving attachment,
and attraction to same sex individuals. The other three components of
sexuality are: the biological sex, the gender or psychological identification with one of the sexes, and the social role (the cultural
norms for female and male behaviour).
As mentioned above, there are four types of sexual identification:
- homosexual- attraction to individuals from the same sex;
- bi-sexual- attraction to individuals from both sexes;
- heterosexual- attraction to persons from the opposite sex;
- asexual- absense of attraction to persons from either sex;
Women with homosexual orientation are called lesbians.
There is a difference between sexual orientation and behaviour, and
this difference depends on the strength of feelings and the way a woman
accept herself. She can decide whether her sexual orientation will find
expression in her behaviour. Why is the orientation of each person specific?
The origin of sexual orientation is individual for every person and not
well explored by the specialists. Different theories make differing assumptions, including genetic or hormonal factors as well as early
childhood experience. Even so, most scientists are unanimous on the idea that for most people, the sexual orientation forms throughout childhood and as a consequence of a combination of biological, psychological, and social factors. Is the sexual orientation a question of choice?
No! The sexual orientation usually expresses itself during the yearly
adolescent years and before the girl has had any sexual experience. Something more- there isn't a known case in which a person was trying
to shift her orientation consciously to homosexual. But many lesbians
state that they have tried to become heterosexual in their adolescent years
(without success, of course). Therefore, psychologists do not accept
the sexual orientation of a person as a conscious choice which could be
changed voluntarily. Is sexual orientation a psychological disorder or an emotional problem?
No! Psychologists, psychiatrists, and sexologists share the opinion
that homosexuality IS NOT a disease, a psychological disorder, or an
emotional problem. In the past, homosexuality was considered an illness and
psychological disorder but in 1973, the American Psychiatric Association confirmed the need of removing the term ''homosexuality'' from the list of emotional and psychological disorders. In 1975, this understanding was supported by the American Psychological Association. Can lesbians be good mothers?
Yes! Research among groups of children raised in lesbian families or
by a single lesbian mother, and among children grown with heterosexual
mothers showed no differences in intelligence, psychological fitness, social adaptability, contacts with friends, sexual development, identity, or orientation.
NO DIFFERENCE AT ALL!!! One of the most obviously wrong stereotypes of homosexual parents is
the conception that they would tend to model the sexuality of their children.
There is no supporting evidence for this statement, only homophobic
guesses. Why is it necessary for a lesbian to come out?
Because sharing about this identity aspect is an important factor for
the psychological balance of the young lesbian on her way toward acceptance
of her self. What makes the coming out difficult? The false stereotypes
and the unjustified prejudices towards them places serious challenges to
the lesbian openness, especially in an emotional plan. Very often the
lesbians feel ''different,'' misunderstood, and lonely upon finding their sexual preferences and attraction to their own gender. Moreover, they fear
being ostracised by their family, friends, school mates, colleagues,
religious communities, and society as a whole. These factors make coming out difficult and unclear for the young girl. In addition, the young
lesbian knows about the widespread discrimination and violence against
homosexuals.
What can help lesbians overcome prejudice and discrimination against
them?
People having a positive attitude toward lesbians are those who know
one or more lesbians more closely. For this reason, psychologists consider
that negative attitude towards lesbians comes not from direct impressions of people but out of media stereotypical representation and from heterosexsist prejudice and hatred. The lesbian defence against hatred
and discrimination is a very important moment in the development of the
whole society. After all, democracy calls tolerance and acceptance of
minority groups. While attacking the lesbians, the society resembles those
ignorant people who kill the caterpillars while admiring the butterflies.
Can treatment or some kind of therapy change the sexual orientation?
No it can not! Although the scientists are conviced that homosexuality
is not a disease which can be cured nor a choice of life path, many people
attempt to change the sexual orientation of the lesbians. I will not discuss ridiculous arguments that one healthy sex with a
male would necessary turn a lesbian woman into a heterosexual one. But I
will mention parents who subject their children to therapy. There are
therapists who are convinced and report successful cases of changes in
sexual orientation of homosexuals. Usually, those are the result of painful and humiliating therapies. They change the sexual behaviour of
the victims, and the psychologists consider that the behaviour shift stems
from a change in sexual orientation. But sexual behaviour is not the
essence of sexual orientation. The sexual behaviour could be changed
forcefully, and the emotional, sexual feelings and the individual identity cannot be changed. Of course I would become heterosexual if
such 'experts' 'cure' me with electric shocks twice a week.
Is lesbian sexuality normal according to the people?
Whether the lesbian love would be accepted as normal depends on the personal criteria of ''normal.''
The lesbians often get disgusted by the thought of having heterosexual
intercourse. But they don`t claim that the heterosexual sex is abnormal.
Usually, it is the heterosexual people who call the homosexual relationships perverse. One can notice homosexual relations among the
animals and for me, this fact means that they are natural. There is solid evidence that the antelopes, wild boars, bulls, cows, chimpanzees,
gorillas, ducks, dogs, cats, horses, rams, sheep, and many others have
homosexual spices among them. Homosexuality is spread in nature and by
the way, there is no observable discrimination or violence against them. I
would rather say- half jokingly, half seriously- homosexuality draws
are close to nature.
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